why does he not just go Jurassic on Rodan?

"Bushidō (武士道^?). he thinks Rodan insulted him....."Replied Grrr.
'At a press conference Rodan said that while Godzilla's movie were "passable" he Rodin was the raising star of Japanese kaiju."
"Passable! Why does he not just go Jurassic on Rodan?" asked Gretta, the actress in her understanding depth of the insult . "I would."
"So would I babe; but we are not Japanese. The Mikado let it be known that he did not think it good for two Japanese  Kaijū (怪獣 kaijū ) to have a falling out in front of the gaikokujin. Godzilla is from a very..very old Samurai family so that was that.


 Godzilla is Samurai and a daimyo and Rodan is not; He is from a new family. The insult is unforgivable but the word of the son of Heaven is the word of god. So you see the problem ." Said Grrr.
"If that is the case." asked Bob "Why are the two of them on the same cruise?"

Bushidō (武士道?) He thinks Rodan insulted him

"So? " asked Stef you are saying the Godzilla hates to act?"
"Worse. I knew some actors hated the craft over time or the stress. But if poor Godzilla felt that that way from the 50's....!said Gretta.
"I can see why he would do it after the war but why continue...asked Grrr
"History and money pal. Japan spiked in the early 80's remember and has been in a slump since . Korea and the other Asian states and now China did to Japan what Japan did to the USA in the 70's .
I suspect that is what is driving your friend. 
I still don't know why he hates Rodan, I figured that it was just artistic differences over Rodan's movie, I mean he stole the whole ending form Romeo and Juliette." asked Bob.
"Bushidō (武士道^?). he thinks Rodan insulted him....."Replied Grrr.
  

義務 Gimu

"The problem is that it worked too well." said Grrr
"How could it work too well?" asked Steff
"Yes, Grrry we were both actors. How can good rolls be bad??" asked Gretta.
"Because Stef and Babe, Godzilla is NOT an actor. In fact he is a very reserved  even shy dino. Who is happiest in his cave under the sea,  writing  Japanese poems..." Haiku" Put in Bob.
"Thanks pal, yeah Haikus and arranging sea plant flowers, he even prefers to eat plankton and sea weed. He told me one time after a few sakes  that just being on the set was very painful and he has been doing it since the 50's . He even allowed that robot and worse that French Godzilla to use his name." 
"I did not know that." put in Bob.
"Yes. If it is so stressful, why does he do it?" asked Gretta.  Stef nodding in agreement.
"I asked him that as well." replied Grrr. "He said that it was '義務 Gimu duty'. It is the soul of being Japanese." 
To be continued

"Hum..Godzilla and Rodan on the same ship! Godzilla hates Rodan . This may be fun after all." said Bob with an evil look. "Yep" replied Grrr with a big T- Rex grin.

As the boys were grinning, Gretta and Stef came into the room.

a' I  know that  Rodan and Godzilla don't see eye to eye. I have always wondered why?" asked Stef

'Yes, Grrry. I would like to know too." 

Going into the living room, Grrr, popped a root beer and said.

"It is a short story ladies. As you know babe and you know also I think Stef, I know that Bob knows. We dinos tend to be territorial. I am the head of the Rex. which means that the Rex and other dinos in the Americas, Europe and parts of Asia look to me for leadership. 

But not Japanese dinos. They  are a law unto themselves. They, like all Japanese, see the emperor as divine, god on earth and answer ONLY to him or those he appoints. "

"I understood that that changed after WW ll?" said Stef and Gretta nodded in agreement.

"Nope', said Bob. "On the surface, the Mikado is now  a constitutional monarch and the PM runs Japan; but  in Japan, what you see is often not what you get.  Japan lost one war in 2500 years and unlike the Germans, despite saying that surrender was unconditional, got not only to keep the Emperor but had his name whitewashed. Japan was knocked flat after the war.So that when Japan needed some money back in the 50's, to rebuild, it was decided that films were the way to go and monster movies were very profitable in the 50's  so, the Son of Heaven, let it be known that his country needed  Godzilla The  daimyo of all Japanese monsters. So Godzilla made that flick, even took a dive ..with that oxygen destroyer stuff for the good of Nippon. 

"The problem is that it worked too well." said Grrr

To be continued.

With Rodan????

 "Grrr, old dino pal...may I have a word with you?" Bob asked.

"Now, Bob it is not my fault I... "  a nervous Grrr replied.

"Old reptile, I just had a little talk with Stef and she told me that we; as in her and I were going on a “nice cruise” with you and Gretta?  Seems that you and Gretta were kind enough to arrange first class  cabins?"

"Bob". Grrr said. " I just heard about this yesterday. I told her 'No' but she said that she really wanted to go.

You know how that goes."

"Grrrr. You know I hate cruises and gad with Rodan ???

How many times do I have to see his movie with the little stupid  plastic tanks??? You know that he is going to try and make us sit through it again.!"

I know  I know. Grrr said.  But look, if Stef asked, what would you have done?

Picking up a cup of coffee and  handing Grrr a rootbeer. Bob and Grrr exchanged looks.

"Guess we are going on a cruise." Bob said.      

Yeah, but the good news is that Godzilla  and  Aiko, his wife are coming too. 

Bruce fixed it up and some of the other guys."

"Hum..Godzilla and Rodan on the same ship! Godzilla hates Rodan . This may be fun after all." said Bob with an evil look. "Yep" replied Grrr with a big T- Rex grin..

To be continued.       

A night at the Movies. After a half hour of "oh doctor will he live?".and "does he love me"??

A night at the Movies.
Grrr and Gretta were over at Bob and Stef's house.
Dinner was over and the four friends dino and human were deciding what to do that night.
"We could go out for ice cream" Stef said. "Wonderful" said Gretta.
"That is fine" replied Bob.." but what will we do after that"?
"I don't know" said Grrr.
"What do you boys want to do?" asked Stef.
"How about a movie"? Bob said.
"There is a good one out" said Gretta.
"My heart is a Rose."
"I've heard of that" said Stef. "The Actress has a husband who dies and leaves her with four small children,  and she returns to school and becomes a brain surgeon."
"Yes" Gretta added "and is getting a Nobel when she finds that her youngest has brain plague and her kitten has been run over" and she has to decide if she is going to go to the Congo to save the children with Doctor karl or ." Yes that is the one" said Stef
Bob and Grrr looked at each other.

Later in the movies

After a half hour  of "oh doctor will he live?".and "does he love me"??
Grrr said "I am going to get some popcorn you guys want anything?"
Gretta and Stef entranced by the film just shook their heads.
Bob said "Hold on pal. I will give you a hand."
As they were walking out to the lobby, Grrr noticed that a monitor was showing movies now playing in other studios. "Attack of the Night Dinos"  "The Marines land at Dawn" "It came from another World"  Looking at each other, Grrr asked "you think?"  "yep" Bob said as long as the flicks get out at the same time, they will never miss us.  They sat down and passed the popcorn.
The two guys looked at each other and Grrr said "this is the way to go to the movies."
The guys met their ladies as the movies ended. The girls were talking about the movie. Grrr said " Did you girls miss us?"   'No" said Stef, we figured that you guys would sneak into the action movies." Gretta nodded in happy agreement.

Grrr and the Creature. part 1

Grrr and the Creature. part 1

Grrr and the Creature.

Grrr had gone back to Cali to see some old students and while he was there met his old friend the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Grrr and the Creature had made the rounds together in the early days of their acting careers and had formed deep bonds of trust and friendship. Grrr had once told his human friend Bob, that the friends you make as a young being are often the best.
The Creature has come back to LA from the Amazon to "pitch" a TV idea he had for a reality show and was not having too much luck.
The two old actors were happy to see each other and retired to a watering hole for a few drinks.
Grrr told the Creature what he and Gretta had been doing since they left Hollywood and inquired after the Creature's family.
"Glad to hear that things are going well." said the Creature as he wrapped his claw around a Swamp water and coke. "Me? well, I got bored being retired and  came back to the old place to see if I could pitch a new reality show. That is all the rage, but those studio guys are plain nuts."
"Heck, that is nothing new." said Grrr taking a slug of root beer.
"No, buddy," answered the Creature. "They are inhuman..nuts...I mean we creatures have never been too fond of humans, but there are things even we won't do to em."
As the Creature started to explain, Grrr was so shocked that he spilled his root-beer!!" 

"Pal, you gotta be kidding" said Grrr to the Creature.
"Wish I was. Nope, they wanted these humans to jump in my lagoon and they would release a tank of Piranha and any human that make it across the lagoon made it into the next challenge
They wanted me to set up a deal with the army ants...the humans had to crawl their nests looking for clues!!
Grrr, you know what THOSE  ant guys are like."
"Who?"  asked Grrr. "I mean where would they find humans nuts enough...even actors.."
"Grrr, they had humans lined up around the block just asking to get on the show."
"No", the Creature, knocking back his glass of swamp water and coke, I am outta here.
 Hollywood is just gotten  too strange for an innocent monster, I am taking that gig at Seaworld."

Pass the salt!!

A group of screaming  people were banging on Bob's door demanding to be let in.  An angry  roaring Grrr, was turning the corner in hot pursuit of them. 
Sticking his head out the window; Bob said: "Whata you want?"
"You have to let us in." the leader commanded.
 "An angry savage T-Rex is after us."
"Why?" asked Bob. "Grrr usually does not bother anyone who does not bother him." 
"You do not understand. We are from the national food dept and have come to inspect, to require, to insure that creatures and people only eat what the Government allows them to eat. Food like soy, that  has a low carbon food print and nurtures the environment. That brute of a  T-Rex was drinking ..Gasp..root beer and eating burgers.
So of course, we ordered him to stop; pointed out the error of his..tried to educate him..we issued a fine and  and attempted to remove the offending food and drink when he went....he started to eat us!!!.  You must do something."
'You are right!" said Bob.
"Hey, pal, you may need this" Bob said...Tossing Grrr some salt !!!!!!!!!!! : 

Dino Preppers?

Bob was getting worried. He had not seen Grrr or any of the dinos for over a week.
So, he went over to Grrr's cave and let himself in. 
"Anybody home?" "Hey, Grrr, Gretta?"
"Anybody here?" not getting a reply he began to get worried.
 As he was about to leave, he heard a noise. like a BIG stone being moved. Looking toward the back of the cave, he saw a hole open in the wall and looking out was Grrr, wearing Bob's old Marine helmet.
"Have they gone? Is it over?" asked Grrrrrr?
 "Are you out of your ever loving blued eyed mind, have you been hiding all week?"asked Bob.

""Hey, buddy, you guys were not here 65 million years ago for the last one. 

We dinos take meteors seriously !"

"Come take a look." Grrr said pointing toward the hidden hole in his cave wall.

Stepping in, Bob saw a long line of tunnels running off in all directions and stocks of food and cases of rootbeer. 

"Grrr, you sir, are a dino prepper!" said a surprised Bob.

"Darn right, I tell ya Bob," handing Bob a coffee, while he popped a can of rootbeer," I tell ya meteors are nothing to fool with. We have stories from the old days. One minute you are minding you own business in the swamp ...next minute BOOM.  you have to be very stupid not to learn from an experience like that."

With a little help from mah friend

Grrr was over Bob's house helping him and Andy Ant fix computers for Andy's nest when the neighborhood watch guy came over and asked to speak with Andy. 
After a few minutes the NW guy left and he did not look happy.
"What is the problem Andy?"asked Grrr.
"Aw..it is those darn golfers again. They try and build their courses over the nest, the guys stick an antenna out and get hit with a golf ball, and that hurts, let me tell you, and so they get mad and sting the bum that hit the ball or sometimes tear him to bits. We were here first and we try to be nice but ...."
"You know pal, Al gator had the same problem but he fixed it."
"How did it do it, did he eat a few golfers?" asked Andy
"Naw, they give him heartburn. He came up with something worse."
"What could be worst then eating them?" Asked Bob.

From their point of view ? replied Grrr.This "  is worse."So bad that they don't build new courses over by Al's, heck, they even closed that "Palmer Course" but agreed to keep the grounds up so Al would not get mad."

 "OK", Andy, said, his antennae quivering in excitement and hope. "What did he do?"
"Ask him yourself." said Grrr. "Here comes Al now."

 A truck loaded with old computer parts with a bumper sticker that said "Home is where the swamp is" pulled into the driveway and Al Gator got out.

"Hey Al, you know Andy Ant?"
"Sure enough do chaps. How y'all doing boys?" said Andy.
"Not bad. "The pals replied. "But ole Andy here has a problem you may be able to help with ...golfers," said Bob.
Pouring a cup of "Earl Gray" and putting some "Tea Biscuits" on his plate, Al was hatched in the South, but his family swam up from Belize and he still has some very British habits.
"Golfers..Yankees!!!..y'all tell me about it Andy".

After  Andy Ant explained the problem to Al Gator, Al said "Sit yourself down, there's a good chap, I have the very thing for y'all. Going to his truck, Al came back into the garage with a small tool. Mah good lady, picked this up for me at Marshall's for about 5 bucks..simply wizard little device. I have several. Handing some to Andy, These are your old fella.' said Al.
"Y'all got to understand that simply eating the blighters or even rending them to bits won't answer. No! They will simply tell each other, the ones that get away that is, "what a tough course..challenging".. and want to "play it " even more..quite mad that way. crazy as June bugs or a Yankee with a jug of shine. Nope, Y'all  gotta know how the chaps think.  Y'all gotta ask what is the one thing the golfers simply cannot abide?
 Hate it worse than ole Stonewall hated Yankees?

 "Rain?" asked Bob "

Hot days?" put in Grrr.

 "How about lightening?" Put in Andy. 

"Nope . Clear to see that y'all ole boys are not golfing chaps, not at all.. rather.

No, the thing golfing chappies hate worst than bugs at a barbecue , is losing by one stoke..cannot abide it." 

"I would think losing by a big score would be worse." Said Bob.

"Son,  y'all, just gotta understand that these chappies hate to lose. 

Hate it the way the pastor hates drinkin and sinnin. Losing is bad and to lose by one stroke?...   Why it sets their hair afire.  Never heard such language and the men folk are worse." Al said with a big gator grin.

"Well, now son, it is simple,  when a chap puts the old noggin to it. One just employs this handy dandy little marker and changes the name on the ball. Which according to the rules of that silly sport, cost the ole boy or gal a "stoke" for playing the wrong ball, don't  ya know?

It gives them Yankees madder than a wet hen, no offence Bob."

 "None taken Al." replied Bob.

" Do it enough and they soon play somewhere else." 
"Al, the whole nest thanks you..why the queen herself will want to honor you." said a joyful Andy Ant. "
Shucks nothing to it, just glad to help y'all out." said a modest Al Gator.

"

Grrr and the Arctic storm.

Bob was awakened early in the morning by the sound of Grrr's tail banging weakly against  his front door.
When he got up, he noticed it was a bit cold..Dino-town is in Florida.
As he opened the door, he saw Grrr and Gretta shivering on the door step.
"Can...Can...can we come in ole ape?" asked Grrr. "Of course." said Bob.
Stef called. "Gretta dear..Grrr, come in." As she turned the heat up to 90.
"Thanks ..We never figured that our cave would need central heat like your human homes do." said Grrr. 
Stef gave Gretta a cup of hot tea and Bob gave Grrr a warm root beer.
As Grrr drank his warm root-beer and Gretta her organic hot tea, Grrr explained.
"So, old ape, when we moved here I saw a human on TV talking about greenhouse gas and earth warming. Well, it was hot here and if it was only going to get hotter, I figured to save a few bucks and..."
"I told you to get the whole system" said Gretta" But would he listen?" Gretta and Stef gave each other the "wife-look".
"Anyway." said Grrr,  getting a look of comradeship from Bob, "I am calling Al Gator tomorrow and getting the whole system." 
" I outta eat that guy." Said a cold dino.
" Al ?" asked Bob.
 "No" said Grrr. "That earth warming human".
"You don't want to do that Grrr." said Bob.
"Why not?" asked Grrr
"Food poisoning." replied Bob.

All is well that ends well...or calling a rex a bird is gonna cost ya.

A Lot To Fix.

Bob and Grrr went into Grrr's back yard.
The friends had gone Jurassic over a **&&& TV show that said T-Rex look like birds.
Now they had to fix things.
"Wow, we sure did a job on this place pal." said Grrr.
"True," replied Bob. "You pulled that palm tree right out of the ground."
"You did not do too bad either, ole ape, the lawn chair is chopped to bits."
"yeah, we showed em." Said Bob. "Sure put the claw on em." Agreed Grrr.
"So what are we going to do?" We gotta get it all  fixed before Stef and Gretta get home." Said Grrr.
"Not a problem", replied Bob as a big truck pulled up  and some guys and dinos got out.
"What is this?" asked Grrr.  "Well, ole reptile, I called up the TV station and pointed out that their program ,the one that said the dinos evolved into birds, was based on theory and not fact and that by presenting it as fact, they hurt your self image and were open to one heck of a law suit." 

"And they brought that ..just how dumb are those people?" asked an amazed Grrr.
"Dumb enough to think Rex have feathers." Replied Bob.
"So I told them that if they would make good the damage, we would kindly let the matter drop and so here they are."
  "Wow, ole ape, I am not worthy!" Replied an awestruck Grrr.
"I did not spend 25 years  listening to some very...very..smart wolf children telling me why they should be allowed into the class dance, even if they did "not know that paper was due today." without learning something   : )
"Mr. Grrr?' asked the manger from the Tv station.  "we have your new lawn set..teak of course, ..the pool and the trees and root-beer machine and coffee maker. if we can start now sir, we could be done in two hours tops?"
"Ahhh, sure" said Grrr.
Two hours later.
"Mr. Grrr, if everything is OK, would you sign this release? Oh, we put the new 60 inch plasma TV in your living room and hooked up the surround sound and you get all the stations free for a year...you too Bob." said the crew chief.
Bob and Grrr signed the forms, shook hands with all the workers,  men and dino, and gave them $20  a piece as a tip..which the humans and dino installers took as a happy surprise.
Sitting on their new  lawn chairs and clicking can and cup together, the two pals said "All is well that ends well."

How Grrr met Al Gator.

How Grrr met Al Gator.

"Hey, Al, how are you?" Grrr roared "Not bad" Al Gator replied.
Al and Grrr were friends from way back. They had met when Grrr was in films.
Al had gone into TV doing sifi movies and selling real estate in the off season.
 Now that Grrr was in Florida, he had decided that he needed his own den in the swamp to relax in and so was happy to find that Al had gone into swamp real estate.
"How can I help Grrr?" Al asked.
"I am looking for a nice swamp about 350...500 acres to relax in. You know,  something like the Jurassic." Grrr said 
"Do my best." Al replied."You gonna build, Grrr?' Al asked  "Unless you have a spot with a cave, yes. I  need someplace to keep my root beer and for my human friends to visit." Grrr said.
 Al replied, "I  heard that you had human friends..that dino/human retirement place,  must be a California thing  Here humans and reptiles don't get along, unless you play golf, then we share the courses, but seldom play together.

"Some humans are ok". replied Grrr. "Pass the word, pal, that unless they wanna be lunch, the local gators had best be polite to Bob and Stef.

"  You and Gretta gonna get  Jurassic ?"  Al asked.
 "Yep" said Grrr, with a big toothy T-Rex grin.

"That seems a bit strange, having human friends Grrr." Al said.
"Not at all. When we got out of the movie business and into education, Bob gave me my big chance to be a class dino.  Stef and Gretta became friends as well. you know how Raptors feel about their pack.
"Oh, a honor thing for you both". Al replied with a nod."Now I understand and I will pass the word".
"Thanks Al." Grrr said"

You..ah.. Grrr,  ah... I never had any human friends. You think I could stop in once in a while?"

"Don't see why not. You like coffee and donuts or Root beer?" Said Grrr.
"More into tea and crumpets, see the family swam up from Belize, used to be British Honduras, and we  kept a lot of the old country habits." Al said.
"What do you think about bagpipe music Al?"
"You kidding Grrr?" I love the pipes."
"So do we. So come on down." : )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmwoeBJpcDs 

The Plan.

Stef and Gretta were looking at their homes and the ladies decided that their places needed to be fixed up.
Bob and Grrr were not happy about this. They did not mind the fact that their wives were "Fixing" things as  the ladies were careful shoppers and spent wisely.But they knew that they would be dragged to the mall and the furniture stores..that they did not like.
"We need a plan. ole ape" Grrr said to Bob "or it is the MALL for us and no mistake."
"I know"  replied Bob, But it has to be a good one the girls are getting wise".
"We could pretend to be mad at each other and not want to hang out?"
"Never work", said Grrr. "The girls won't believe it and if they did we would have more problems."
"Humm..true", said Bob. "Ok, look if we cannot lick them..how about we join them?"
"You have the evil look again, ole human..what do you have in mind?" Asked Grrr.
"Rocks and Noble" old friend, Rocks and Noble" said Bob
"The Dino/Human Book store?" asked Grrr.
"That is the place. They have fine coffee and root beer and deep soft chairs for both our species,free WiFi and the latest books."
"Perfect", said Grrr. "I think that the girls would be happy to drop us off while they shop. 
I think they only need us to load the car anyway"

"Buddy, said Bob, we got us a plan". 

Grrr and Bob clicked root beer bottle and coffee cup together and smiled.

The Now Happy vampire.

"Yes, she is Italian...everything is cooked in... in...garlic!!!!!
"The smell, the other wives are starting to complain. Even the children of the night are howling" moaned Drac.
"Well", said Vlad. "Just sit down and explain the problem to her and put a stop to it."
"Were that  it were that easy." replied Drac. "It makes her so happy and I...just cannot.."
"OK" said Vlad. "We need help and I know just the creature to call, Grrr Rex."
"Everyone knows of Grrr and holds him in high esteem" agreed Drac.
"But do you really think that he can help?  I am not going to counseling!  I am a Boyar and a warlord..that counseling stuff is for wimps" snarled Drac.
"No one said anything about wimps Drac. We are just looking for ideas...or... Do you want to go home and talk to the wives?" asked Vlad.
"No! " said Drac."Call Grrr".
Vlad called Grrr and explained the problem.
"I did not know that Vampires ate or drank, You know that  'I do not drink...vine"  and i do not sup' thing". said Grrr.
"It is that darn book and the movies again", replied Vlad. "In fact, we almost never do eat or drink but when in solid form we can, but it just does not have any taste.
"Is there anything you can think of?  This is driving Dracula up the wall,
and the family problems!!!!  said Vlad.
"Ok, said Grrr, the main problem here is the cooking smells? No, smells no problem?"
"Yes, said Vlad.
"Humm, seems to me then what your friend's kitchen needs is a better ventilation system.
Wives..huum..didn't you tell me the other day  that his other wives wanted a hot tub and Internet in the Castle..something about online shopping?"
"Yes", Vlad replied.
"Ok," run this past Dracula. I have a friend, Al Gator, who can re-do his kitchens and dining Hall.
 That keeps the new wife happy. The hot tub and the Internet keeps the other wives happy.
If he just gets something for the new wife, I foresee other...shall we say, family issues." said Grrr.
"Wonderful Grrr." I will talk to him at once and get back to you. Thanks again"  said Vlad.

.
Several weeks later, as Grrr was heading out for his morning run with Bob, he found a large..a dino-sized.. keg of vintage root-beer outside of his cave....attached was a card.

"My dear Grrr. 
Just a small gift from a grateful new friend.
I am not sure about the online shopping, I shall have to do a bit of digging on St. George's Night..

Just joking mein friend. 
The wives have not been so happy in 300 years.
I am starting to like der net as well..all the old movies. 
Your friend Mr. Gator did a noble job and the garlic problem is a thing of the past.
Thank you once again.
Count Dracula."

Dracula's new wife...

Vlad the vampire was sitting at his computer watching the world Cup, he roots for Romania of course, when he heard a flapping at the window.

Getting up to look, he was surprised to see his friend the Count and invited him in.

Seeing the look on his friend's face, Vlad said, "Drac, what is wrong old friend?, is Van Helsing at it again?"
"No", replied Drac, in a sad tone, "it is my new wife Sophia."
"Do you have any vine, my friend?' Drac asked.
Vlad knew that it was serious.  Drac, as we all know, doesn't deink...vine.
Handing his friend a large glass with some type "O" as a chaser, Vlad asked,
"Do you vant to talk about it  mein friend? "
"It went so vell at first" Whispered Drac. " She ..she was my Elsiibta reborn. She ...she asked me to convert her..it seemed strange but these times; the new women.. Who understands them? 
But such joy!  After a few nights, when we got back to the castle, she..she..asked if I minded if she took up her old hobby.'Of course my dear.' i said , I was happy to agree"  Drac  took a LARGE drink of wine.
   "Well", said Vlad, "What is wrong with that? These new women are  more independent than those of our time. Many have hobbies."
           "She ..she cooks." Said Drac. "She knows that we do not eat,  at least not often, but she said it was  her joy.  She gives the food  to the local people.  They love her for it.   Villagers  once more love and respect the name of Dracula.  I had  the kitchens of the Castle rebuilt..all stainless steel, the formal dinning Hall restored."

"Well, if she is good at it, gives the food to the poor, is it not the duty of a noble to care for his people? said Vlad.
"Vlad, you don't understand...she..she is from Rome..in Italy."
Vlad's face turned even paler.."Count, you..don't mean..."
"Yes, she is Italian...everything is cooked in... in...garlic!!!!!!"

to be continued..

The Vampire and the Dentist.

 

"How did it go?" Bruce asked a happy Vlad  the night after the dentist, as Vlad showed Bruce his newly restored fang.
"It went well, they have sure improved things in the last 100 years! No pain or screams
But I am glad that nice Stef was with me."
"She is a treasure." said Bruce.
"Bruce, you don't know..the paper work..the forms..it was frightening . Greek it was. Worse I speak Greek!!  Stef saw I was having a problem and pitched in, otherwise ..and when it came time to pay..I handed the nurse five  gold coins..I know..I know a lot, but who understands the prices today? Anyway, the nurse called the accountant and he said the I could not use Turkish gold coins or even American, that I had to have a visa or master card and a credit history?
Him, I almost bit. Stef told me not to worry and used her card."
"A princess..who told you?" said Bruce.

Vlad. the Vampire and the Dentist.

Vlad was visiting with his friend Bruce the Shark, as they sat talking by Bruce's pool.
Vlad absent mind-idly picked up a walnut, and thinking it a grape, bit into it.
Snap went the point of his right fang!!!
"Oh..No" said Vlad mein fang..mein fang".
"What is it'? asked a concerned Bruce.
"Mein fang, I broke the tip of mein fang on that shell!".... 
"It will be alright, my friend, said Bruce, we sharks lost teeth all the time, I will call Walther, my dentist and make an appointment."
"A..A..A dentist!, cried Vlad the 100 year old fearless vampire...but..Bruce..I..I..have never been to the Dentist."

"Vlad, said Bruce the Shark, don't be a wust! World Wars you lived in, a spy and master of black ops..even "the Business" and THAT takes a mench to handle and now you sit there and shake from the dentist"???!!!
 "It is ok for YOU to talk Bruce, said Vlad, you sharks regrow your teeth but  us vampires ?  One set is all we get". I ...I..heard things from the other undead, the needles and the drill!!!!!  I always take good care of my teeth.  I brush 5 or 6 times a day after every meal even a snack and I brush..This is Not fair"!!!!!!Cried the vampire.  "Wil ..Will you go with me Bruce?" asked Vlad.

"My tank won't fit into the office" replied Bruce. "I..I..alone..I.." replied Vlad.

"Wait a call..a friend to help"..Bruce called Grrr but he was working and could not go so he called Gretta, who alas was also busy. Gretta called her friend Stef.

 

“Stef , dear. Can you do me a favor? I truly need your help.”

“How can I help Gretta?” Asked Stef.

“You remember Vlad, Bruce the Shark’s friend?”

“Yes, of course. We met on the cruise.” Replied Stef.

“Well, he broke a tooth and must go to the dentist but the big baby is …well, you know how guys  are about that sort of thing.”

“I do indeed!"  said Stef.  "Bob won’t go to a doctor or dentist unless he has a pain or toothache, I told and told him to go for checkup.  But does he listen?”

“Same with Grrr.  He will fight a dragon with one claw tied behind his back but go to the doctor? That he thinks is scary. “Anyway dear , If Vlad had a friend to hold his hand?? I cannot go, as it is a human office, nor can Bruce…so I was hoping?”

“Of course."  replied Stef. "What time and where?”

“He has a night appointment.  I know that is strange, but he is a vampire and the dentist owes Bruce a favor. You could meet and go from my cave at 8 PM tonight .The appointment is for 9 PM"

"I will be there, said Stef."

"Thank you dear" said Gretta.