Vampire on the Golf Course.

 

Vampire on the Course.

Grrr and Bob were coming home from the store with a new supply of Rootbeer and Coffee.

It was rather late 4 A.M.  Stef and Gretta had gone to see Flower and the ladies human and Raptor, were spending the week at the "Organic Health and Wellness  Resort". 

The guys were on their own. Steff and Gretta had of course left a large supply of "health food" for the guys. But ya know : )

After spending the day and a large part of the night at the 24/7 movie watching old horror movies, the boys were both agreed that  the old movies had to seen in the movie house. Seeing monster movies  on TV was ok; but just not the same.The pals were walking home when they found Vlad the Vampire snapping sticks and tossing them in the air in rage. 

"Hey, pal, dig Vlad. He is going ape." said Bob to Grrr.

"Yeah, he does look annoyed and nothing ever gets under his skin. Even the time they wanted him to play  "Count Dracula meets the Amoeba from Mars"  and that,

 let me tell ya, was a bad role. He never lost his cool. 

We better see if he is all right."  said Grrr.

 "You think someone tried to get him with those wooden stakes?" asked Bob.

"Don't know. But we will find out. Vald pal, its Bob and me. You alright buddy?" asked Grrr.

"AWWW . I vill never be alwright..if I find der swine who invented thiss game..I vill give him to the Children of the Night!" Screamed Vlad!!!!!!

We are the sensitive intellectual poet types..

 We are the sensitive intellectual poet types..

Bob and Grrr were in the yard moving trees and putting down ground cover.

Stef and Gretta were picking out plants and talking about how "nice" their new places would look.

"You know Grrr, we should be debating the meaning of life." Bob said.

"Ya got that right, ole ape, we are the sensitive brainy type. Ya know us T-Rex are known for our wisdom."

"yeah, us humans too...we..."replied Bob.

"If you boys are tired, Gretta and I can finish." said Stef.

"What??" Roared Bob and Grrr as one!

"Admit that girls can work longer than we can??!!! Never!!!

we are mighty guys. right Bob?" "Darn right Grrr."

Gretta and Stef exchanged the wife look and smiled

The pals sang.

 

One spoon over the line..

 Gretta came running over to Stef.
"Stef, get Bob. Please hurry something terrible is wrong with Grrr!!"
Stef, called ",Bob please come here, Gretta said something is wrong with Grrr."
Running over, Bob asked "What is the problem Gretta...what is wrong?"
"It ..it it's Grrr, I have never seen him like this he..making strange faces and roaring like he want to tear every one to bits. I ..I am frightened..I don't know what to do..I.." replied Gretta.
"Ok, I will go look." replied Bob.
"Dear, be careful Grrr.." said a worried Stef.
"Not a problem Babe." replied Bob.
As Bob looked into Grrr's cave he saw a dino sized bowl of ice cream on the floor and A BIG T-Rex jumping around and roaring.
Looking at the Bowl of Ice Cream, Bob went over to the sink and filled a large dino sized cup with water.
"Here pal." He said
Taking the bowl of water, Grrr gulped it down. The look of rage and pain left his face.
"Thanks pal.  It was horrible. I was enjoying some  vanilla fudge, when it hit."
"used to happen at class parties." said Bob.
The two pals looked at each other. "One spoon of ice cream too many..

.ICE CREAM BURN!!!!!"
"One spoon over the line old dino...one spoon over the line.
Running around with ice cream burn one spoon over the line."
The pals sang.

Working on those night movies

 Vlad, the vampire pal of Grrr..yeah the vamp that owned the movie palace and loved old movies, that Vlad had a problem. Not knowing what to do he called his friends Grrr the mighty T Rex and Bob the human.

Ring ring  ring..." I tell yer pal. I dont know why you humans ever invented these&&^%$ cell phones.Used to be.."  Ring ...ring...ring. "you better answer that ole reptile" Bob said " it might be Gretta.'

"Ok..Grrr Rex here what do ya need?"

"Grrr mine friend I have a problem and while I hate to impose I ...I   have no one else...I do not make redfields  and ..I .." Vlad stopped being shy about asking favors. Vlad was always the first to help but he hated to ask for help.

"Hey Buddy who was it that got that special showing of "Prince Charming" for Gretta's birthday? I owe ya pal" " As do I, Stef liked the movie. So I too  owe ya" put in Bob.

"Mine friends I thank you and if I may repay I stand ready as the Honor of mine House requires  to....."

Grrr knew that being very old world Vlad could go on for hours this way so he jumped it..

"Pal it is ok what do ya need?" asked Grrr

"Ah you Americans always right to the point! Well than, mine supplier of the old films, had to go out of town and he was,,,that is knowing my ,,ah..problem with daylight..was kind enough to after hours supply me with classic films. The new stand in ...Well he is only open at daylight hours and ..well I do not think it wise to tell too many of the existence of that undead. It can create problems for me and my kind. Knowing my   uh   state you can see the need for discretion."

"Better if I go" said Bob "Grrr tends to attract attention. If you would just tell me the address and the name of the films?"

"Thank you mine friend .   I have an account and the name of the film is "Gone with the Wind " a true classic. the address is 123 Main Street."  If you and Grrr wish to see it, he also said he has a copy of the 1951 Thing in stock?"

"On my way pal" Bob tossed the phone to Grrr and jumped on his souped up moped torn down the block is a cloud of blue smoke.  "Gad he has to get that thing fixed!! Said Grrr.

Enough with the zombies!!!!

 "Old chap" said Larry (the wolfman) Enough is enough!"

Grrr has a story and Vlad is a being of history and romance Al ,,,,well Al is a builder and has fine taste in tea...Dr. H  is a scholar and even Bob while just a human has his points." Thank a whole lot. Ya limey wanna be wolf." replied Bob

"No offence my dear chap." said Larry

"But zombies, by george that is a bit of Too much!"

"Relax" said Grrr "He has already left and one of Al's pals got him or it .

Hitting Santa Rex is not nice or wise

 Grrr returns to his craft.

Grrr, as many of you who have seen JP know was an actor.

You know he left Hollywood and became a Class Dino, when he was disillusioned with Hollywood. But he still loves to act.

So he was happy to play the part of Santa Claus at the local talent show.

He used his size changing ring, the one the special effects people made for him in his Hollywood days, and of course was in makeup.

Any way, some bad humans and dinos, did NOT know that he was Grrrr, and decided to mug a  "helpless fat old guy". 

It did not end well for THEM.

The wolfman vs the Zombies

 Bob and Grrr were in their lair in the swamp arguing who was better The Mummy or the Creature.

Vlad the vampire was playing video games and losing to Al Gater. Dr. H was debating the merits of Greek vs Roman idealism with  Larry Talbert the wolfman. When there was a banging on the door of the lair. "I will get it." said Bob  "No need ole ape"  replied Grrr the mighty T Rex "Al just put in this video hookup security system, Cannot be too careful lots of strange beings about." A zombie showed up on the screen. "By George I know you yanks have this idea of equality but there are limits." said Talbert.

 "Hey, watch who y'all are calling a yank some of mah kin find that powerful insulting ." said Al Gator. 

Al Gator was a real gator whose family had swam up to Florida before the Civil war from what was than British Columbia.

"Forgive me old chap one gentle being to another but zombies?? Really!"

"That is a bit of too much!' said Larry Talbert. "Why they seldom bath and their manners!! 

Well a gentleman can only be expected to go so far!!!"

to be continued 

"I have had it part ll"

 "Brain the size of a walnut  " roared Grrr. "Why the dolphins have bigger brains than you apes and the neanderthals also had bigger brains and where are they now? Gone or a snack for the Japanese!!!!! 

It is not how big the brain is but how good it is. You would think that the size of CPUs would tell even the eggheads that but no they just gotta pick on and insult us Dinos!   

Waiting till Grrr calmed down a bit Bob tossed him a cold root beer. "Agreed" Bob said.

" Uh you know pal that was not meant at all humans? That would have been dumb . I was only speaking of the idiot who wrote this report and the (****&* that wrote in support of him." said Grrr.

"Not a problem old  reptile, any one who looks at the Net or reads a paper KNOWS that we humans got our full share of unthinking damn fools.

Tomorrow: The wolf man vs the Zombies 

"I have had it !"Roared Grrr!!

 Gretta called Stef and asked her "Can you send Bob over? Something is wrong with Grrry and he  is going Jurassic!" "Yes"  Stef replied to her Raptor friend ."I am sure Bob whats to help Grrr"

"What Babe? I am putting a new CPU in my computer and ...." "Gretta called  You better go see about Grrr something has got him worked up!" 

"Too worked up for Gretta to handle? That is a problem.I  better get over to their cave."

As Bob walked in he saw  Grrr in a true T Rex rage. His mighty tail was banging on the ground and his eyes were blood red. Never a good sign.

"What is the problem Pal? You are upsetting the ladies."

"Have you seen this pal? Bad enough that those eggheads said that we became birds  but this..this."

Grrr tossed a newspaper over to Bob.

Dinos had a brain the size of an walnut... "WALNUT!!! " roared Grrr. "Pal we were around and in charge for about 200.000.000 years! Even the eggheads say that you Humans were around for less then 300.000  if that!!! and WE  are the dumb ones????? Roared Grrr!

To be continued 

The New World Order

 

The New world Order types dont hate the USA or any nation state.They simply regard them as their forefathers regarded the fief as blockages to business, It was cheaper and more efficient to have one central government under a king than 100 local lords each with his or her own tax and laws. The world government would have one set of laws governing trade and one army, Wars are bad for business. Rather hard to sell dead people stuff.

.( True you may make a full wallet selling arms just as the guy who made armor or swords did well. But the BIG money ,then as now, is in MASS trade and for that you need living customers) Of course THEY think or hope that THEIR rights or freedoms will be respected and they will be.Till they annoy the guy or gal in charge and he/She lets the Legions loose on them.

The singing T Rex

 Bob came in the house to get more coffee and saw Gretta sitting and talking to Stef.

Stef turned to Bob and said."Gretta will be staying with us for a few dsys"

"Always welcome kid" said Bob. Taking Stef aside Bob asked" Any trouble with Grrr?"

"Oh No"  she said in reply he is just singing and Gretta needs a vacation from his idea of song"

"Hey Babe! I taught Grrr to sing!" replied  Bob "yes dear and we forgive you!"Said Stef

Bob grabbed some coffee and went over to Grrr's cave. "Seems your lady and mine will be together for a few days ole reptile. Steff said she was staying over."

"Yeah" replied Grrr  "Some beings just got no ear for music!" 

"Old Monty Pythons on the DVD Pal? asked Bob

"Yep, nothing funnier. Recall the Lumberjack song ?I sort of rewrote it."

"Was that what you were singing?

Yeh said Grrr;

"I am a T-Rex and I am ok

 I roar all night and I roar all day" Grrr sang. 

Gee pal said Bob joining Grrr in song. "How could any one object to that? '

Steff and Gretta....

 Stef,Gretta and Flower were sitting over tea  Organic of course and talking.

"I dont know what it is with Bob" Stef said. I told Bob to pick up some clothes and he was back in half an hour!!!"

"Let me guess" replied Gretta. All the underwear was white" Grrry does the same thing" 

"Dont they even look?" replied Steff

"Only for their old guns or computers or books or food" replied Gretta

"My darling does the same. Heddy only LOOKS at the Book shop" You think the boys just dont understand how to shop? asked Flower

"Nope" replied both Stef and Gretta to the younger Flower. " They are just guys"! 

'Grrr sbout that truck"..

 "Grrr ole reptile about that truck" 

" I know ole ape but with my car and  Gretta's and Jr' Bike and LG's car in the garage while they are on location I just ran out of room ."

"Not a problem pal.  We got the space."

But a truck of Root Beer? Even for a T Rex that is a bit much don't ya think?" asked Bob

"Not at all ole ape. I was watching TV and heard this human talk about future shortage and the need to lay in a supply of stuff just in case. In the back of the truck I also have ten cases of Coffee for you  and Organic Tea for the wives. After the meteor I am NOT going to be caught short again.

'Pal" said Bob."You Grrr are a Dino prepper!!!

  

"Do me a favor pal?"

 Grrr.  the mighty T Rex. Asked Bob his human pal for a favor. 

Knowing Grrr Bob was... shall we say careful. "What favor? I recall the time that you asked me for a favor than wanted  to pipe the volcano into my kitchen or the time you wanted to use my extra bedroom and than Big Foot showed up  I  ..."

"Naw pal nothing like that. I just need a place to store  a small bit of rootbeer." replied Grrr

"You just want to store some rootbeer?"asked Bob "Sure pal dino word " replied Grrr

"Well ..ok pal why not"..replied a trusting Bob

Next day  he found out what Grrr's idea of a "small bit" store of Root Beer was.

Bob was very careful NOT to ask Grrr where he got the Truck!!!

I dont understand humans pal

 "I dont understand humans pal" Grrr said to Bob,

"your spicies is just not logical."

"what is the problem pal?" asked Bob

"Well back when I was a class dino you said "People are born with rights and the US Constitution was meant to restrain the government to protect  those inborn rights?'"  asked a confused Grrr

"Yep that is about right" replied Bob

"Ok old ape " then why are humans crying that the "Government is not protecting our rights?"  As I understand it that is to be expected..you know like if ya drop a rock on your tail it hurts ? Why dont humans read their history and Constitution  and protect their own rights?"

Ya know old reptile; For a prehistoric dino, You are not stupid!" repiled Bbo..but some humans are!

 Grrr's view

"You know pal, say what you want about about you apes.

Any beings that can invent rootbeer cannot be totally without merit."

Said Grrr philosophically.

Giving Grrr an evil look, Bob replied.: "Thanks ...I think!"

Elections and political reality

 

Dino and political reality

")()(*()**&%%$%%^%%$%%&" said an angry Bob.

Sticking his green reptilian head in the door Grrr asked: " Everything ok pal?"

"What? Oh hello Grrr, yeah pal everything is OK. I was just reading the News."

"Pal I gotta ask. Why do you humans read the paper, I mean except for the comics, I cannot see any reason for it. All it does is make ya go Jurassic? "

"Well, unlike you dinos, We humans pick our leaders by voting, so we gotta stay informed." replied Bob with pride.

"Well, if you humans picked them, why are you always so upset with them?"

Asked Grrr.

"Well, pal sometimes pols don't do what they say and we humans gotta know."

"But, I was reading that you humans keep re electing the same pols time after time?"

"Well, yes. You see experience and seniority are important in our political system." answered Bob

"So." replied Grrr "You humans elect other humans to power who don't keep their word to you then you read of it in the paper, get mad and then go out and reelect the same humans?"

"Boy, then you make cracks about us dinos having small brains!"

Replied Grrr with an evil T- Rex grin.

Gad Grrr not again!!!

 "Gad" said Bob as he and Grrr were sitting in the garage over root beer and coffee. "You are not gonna tell me about the meteor again? I heard it a million times!"

"Hey Ya got anything better to talk about?  All you apes wanna talk about is what some other human is doing in DC! Talk about boring!!!  Dont ya apes do anything else?"

"So ya telling me that you were there for that meteor fall? That was millions of years ago!"

"Shows what you apes know" replied Grrrr "We dinos are as you know reptiles and so we can hibernate."

"Ok  That I know Dinos  can hibernate" replied Bob "But for a few million years?"

"So, I was kinda tired..it was a very hard day!!!!"  Ya want a new coffee and some donuts?"

"Thanks pal." replied Bob

The Storm

 Hurricane?

"Still here they missed again!!!! " : ) said Bob as he poured a coffee and reached for a donute.

"That an't nothing! ..Ya humans should have been here when the meteor hit! That was a storm!)" Roared Grrr as he popped a can of root beer.