Samurai Rex.

 

Samurai Rex.

Grrr and Gretta had just gotten back from Japan.
Stef were enjoying the silk robes that Gretta had gotten her and the wives were drinking green tea.
Grrr and Bob were playing with the katanas that Grrr brought home.
The guys were running around the house looking for things that they could test the blades on.
Grrr and Bob found two old tires and put them on the workbench in Grrr's garage.
"At the count of three ole ape." said Grrr.
Giving their best samurai battle cries the pals brought the swords down on the tough rubber tires.
The keen blades cut through the tires and the THROUGH the table which crashed to the floor with a bang.
"What was that ?" called Stef from the house. "What are you boys doing? " asked Gretta.
Looking at each other with happy grins Bob and Grrr both said "Nothing."

Timmy Rex???

  "Pal. Are you ok? You have come up with some strange ideas but this?" Said Bob to Grrr as they met in the "Lair" in the swamp.

"Hey pal this is perfect. Ya see us T Rex have gotten a lot of bad PR of late and as that English guy, you know, the guy who wrote Henry V kinda said. 

It is all in the name."Replied Grrr.

"Perhaps if you stopped or slowed down a bit tearing other beings to bits?" Asked Bob

"Naw.  A rex gotta eat.  Nope. This is the thing!

Timmy Rex. Who could say anything bad  about a dino named Timmy"?  

 "I tell ya pal this is brilliant. I looked at your human  TV and every one loves a being named Timmy. Why even to say that ya dont..I mean no one would even think to say that they dont like him. I could walk down the block and bite a Bronto's head off and they would blame the Bronto."

"Come on pal! Humans are not that dumb. I mean ya are still a T Rex and.." said Bob

"Nope" Replied Grrr. " I am Timmy to the public and if you dont want to be  seen as a hater pal ya better remember that."

" Buddy just how dumb to ya think humans are?"   asked an annoyed Bob.

"After seeing human protest the guy trying to save their money not the ones stealing it  for the last month or so. Ya gotta ask?"

 Back at the "Wellness Center"

Sitting down, and passing Billy a root-beer, Grrr popped a can for himself and said " Rex boys in the yard busting your tail again?"A shocked Billy almost choked on his root-beer.
As he found his breath, Billy 

looked at Grrr and said "Yes, they....how..how..did you ...know???
"Hey, Kid I was in JH once myself you know".Replied Grrr with a smile.
"But ...but, said Billy YOU are Grrr Rex!"
"Yeah, now. At 13, I was Grrry and there were a LOT of bigger rexs around who figured steppin on my tail was funny"

Mr. Grrrr. I..I..like music and that stuff but the boys call me names my mom and Mrs. Bronto told me to walk away or tell the teacher...but.."

"I know..being called a "rat" and having no friends is worse. replied Grrr.
"Yes. look at my claws, mom makes me clip them and even if she didn't I ...I don't know how to fight...I...I am not afraid of being hit..but if you look stupid ..they say I fight like a girl, everyone laughs

"I am starting to hate school and ...I ..hate being weak and it is so unfair."Billy said.

"Boohoo kid" said Grrr, "Poor pitiful you".

Billy's head came up with a roar.

Smiling, Grrr said, "That is more like it son, we are rex .
We roar at life not cry about it." 

Billy. "I know that is true Mr. Grrr and I want to roar but the boys.."
"Listen son, I am going to sign you up in my son's Dino-karate class, it will be a lot of very hard work Sensi Godzilla is a very serious dino. But if you do the work, NO ONE is EVER going to step on your tail for fun again.  It will take about a year for you to get good and .." Grrr said..  

"A year!!!   But Mr. Grrr what..I mean a year?"
"Not at problem kid, said Grrr, tossing Billy a button. Wear that on your coat."..the button read:

I AM A FRIEND OF GRRR REX...YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

"Sensi Godzilla will tell you when it is time to return it to me." said Grrr.

"Ahh..Mr. Grrr. We...we don't have a lot of money, since the volcano got popa. Mom works but."
"Kid, said Grrr, I see from your file that you have been taking piano for 8 years? "
"Yes, Mom is a piano teacher  but.."
"Son, eight years is a long time, you any good?" 

 Mr. Grrr, I played two professional shows..I", said Billy with pride, "am very good."
"So you should be able to teach a kid just starting?" Asked Grrr.
"Sure, I offered to teach the kids at school ...but.." said Billy.
"Excuse me kid, I have to make a phone call." Grrr stepped out of his office and returned several minutes later.
"Well, kid, Sensi Godzilla, wants his son to learn piano. You teach his son and in exchange Sensi Godzilla will teach you. deal?"
"Yes, oh, yes DEAL" said a overjoyed Billy. "I won't let your down Mr. Grrrr."

  

"That young rex, with the sour look in the waiting room, is he your boy?" asked Grrr 
"Yes, and he never had that look when he was younger..he was always happy...." The mother  said.
"Humm. replied Grrr, why don't you go for a nice cup of tea while I have a man to man talk with the lad?" Grrr suggested.
When the worried mom left his office..he had the nurse send in the young rex.
"Son, your mother is concerned and..."
"I am NOT your son!!" the young rex snarled.
With his evil rex grin in place, Grrr looked ..just looked ..at the young rex..who, all of a sudden, truly  wished that he had kept his mouth shut.
"Fine, kid..just want to know where  we stand" Grrr replied..reaching out his massive razor sharp claw and putting on his scrubs.
"Oh." said Billy, the young Rex."Why  are you putting those operating scrubs on ?"
"It can get very messy and you know how hard it is to get blood off a white  lab coat?
 This is a new one. My wife just got it for me and she would be mad if I got it dirty the first time I wore it."
Grrr said with a  predatory grin.
"Oh...look, the last time I was in counseling..Mrs. Bronto. she  just told me to feel good about myself..and she..she told my mom to get me a new ...new ...game or something to help my inner child adjust."
A nervous Billy Rex stammered.
"Not the way, I work kid.". Grrr snarled.

"Mr. Grrr,".Billy started to say when Grrr's nurse came in.

Seeing Grrr in his operating clothes, she said "Not again Grrr. These are new rugs and you know what  Dr. H said at the budget meeting last week."
"Hey", said Grrr, "Did I ask for carpet? I was happy with tiles. Easy to mop up..but no!!.
You guys had to get that designer in here."a warmer..kinder look"  you said". Grrr replied.
Billy Rex looked up at the two older rex, his eyes getting bigger and bigger and his tail starting to twitch nervously .
As the nurse left, Billy said .."Please, Mr. Grrr. Can we start over?"
"Not a problem.  Every kid is entitled to one mistake as a human friend of mine is fond of saying."
Sitting down, and passing Billy a root-beer, Grrr popped a can for himself and said "Boys in the  school yard busting your tail again?"
A shocked Billy almost choked on his root-beer.
As he found his breath, Billy looked at Grrr and said "Yes, they....how..how..did you know?"

To be continued

Stef and Gretta wanted their homes painted.

 

painting.

Stef and Gretta were sitting over a cup of organic tea, made with distilled water of course, and talking of painting their homes with low voc organic paint in "warm" colors when Grrr and Bob came in.
"Hey babe. what are you ladies talking about?" asked Bob to Stef.
"We think that it would be nice to paint our houses" replied Stef.
"Yes, something natural and warm." put in Gretta.
Grrr looked at Bob and said "Ok no problem. Bob and I will head to the paint store." "Sure." agreed Bob. "What do you ladies think of green?"
Gretta and Stef exchanged the Wife look.

 "Today is the day that they are having the Jurassic park movie marathon and discount popcorn at Vlad's movie palace"  spoke Gretta. "Yes" Agreed Stef. "We know that you boys have been looking forward to that all year. We will just call the painter." 

"If you girls dont mind?" asked Bob. At the smiling reply of the ladies. Grrr and Bob ran to the door.
"Good thinking" said Stef to Gretta. "Lets get the rollers and brushes.' 

"Yes when the boys, bless their kind hearts paint, it takes us days to clean up!" replied Gretta.

 "Well, now the big fella",Tex resumed,  pointing   at Grrr," called me and asked me if I would do him a favor and consider the part, which if ya'all consider that  he was a "name" after JP, was a  mighty kind way of him puttin it. Any way, I went down and was just expectin some extra work, a walk on a bit of roarin, that sort of thing. But the Big fella who was to play the Aztec Rex had a contract dispute, the producer and director were on a very tight shoot schedule and asked if I would fill in. They used some trick camada work to make me look like a big rex. Well Now after a few days Grrr calls to say howdy and as we were talking about the  new part  Grrr asked if they adjusted my contract as I was now playin the starin role. Well I said I just trust that they do right by me."  Tex stopped to take a drink of his sweet tea.

"You are too trusting Shorty. Ole Ape, they were still paying him as an "extra'" walk on. no roaring parts,  basic scale. Well we Rex gotta stick together."
"So did you go Jurassic on them pal ?" asked Bob.
"Worse, I called Bruce the Shark!" said Grrr with an evil T-Rex grin.

Pard. Ya'll know Bruce?" Tex asked Bob.
"Sure, I met him a few years ago on a cruise Stef and I took with Grrr and Gretta. I know that he is a big shot in the movie business among other things and a very fair and decent being. I do not think he would like a friend of Grrr's  or anyone for that matter, to be cheated." said Bob.
"Bruce has been in the Business a long while and knows everyone, when he calls folks in the Business listen. Well, Next morning the producer called me in and had this new contract; I got star billing, 10% of the gross, a big raise, mah own trailer. Fellas said that they were fixin to talk to me bout this but this was the first chance. Found out later that Bruce had had a powwow with them". said Tex with a grin. 
"Well, I finished the flick, paid mah bills and as Bruce suggested put half in a computer stock and such. Now? Well still doing a bit of actin, but old Ringo and me a'int worried about things any more.
I was fixen to visit some kin in the swamp and figured that might be nice to see mah pard Grrr.
Turned out even better as I made a new pard." Said a happy Tex

T

 "So how did you and Grrr meet?"  asked Bob

"Well now as Ah recall I  was were makin a film and  The Duke called me and..."
"The Duke!!!!" You knew the Duke ?" asked Bob
With a happy t-rex grin, Tex replied. " Pard, back then we all knew each other.
John Wayne  Roy Rogers, Jay Silverheels, Gene Autry, Hopalong..Hollywood is a not a community it is a collection of communities and in the Cowboy Community we all knew each other and looked out for each other. Now Ah not sayin that we did not fight for a good part, but if there was a part that was right for a pard but not you. why y'all just naturally passed the word.  Ah was filling in on a teenage monster flick, when the Duke came over to mah place, had a small place in the hills, got it with mah King Kong pay, not much but a place to keep Ringo and set up a small shootin range, ya'all understand that times a fella just got to go shootin?"
"Yes, one of the nice things about Cali was the shooting ranges" replied Bob. "I was a member of the old Inland fish and game range for over 20 years" agreed Bob.
Unloading one of his Colt Peacemaker .45s, Tex handed it to Bob to admire and Bob, dropping the mag and checking the chamber  passed over his 1911 to Tex.
"There is something about a 45. " Bob said looking at Tex's Peacemaker.
"Sure enough is.' agreed Tex. "I was raised on the revolver and being a Cowboy..well y'all understand.  But I do admire the 1911 have a few at home. not saying ah agin the 9mm, like them too. But the .45 is the American gun."
"True"  said Bob.

T

"Ringo?" said Grrr with a happy roar upon seeing the grazing triceratops.
"Shorty,Where are you old friend?" roared Grrr.
"In here pard." replied Tex.
Grrr came charging in and the two Rex touched claws in friendship.
"Buddy welcome. You been telling those Texan tall tales again?" said Grrr with a happy grin.
"Nope. Tales are not tall, just that anything out side of Texas is small." said a happy Tex.
"I was fixin to tell mah new pard bout "Aztec Rex." said Tex.
"Go to pal." said a happy Grrr. Turning to Bob, "I just fix the parts he gets wrong! That is, if you guys ever get done admiring guns."
"Now pard, somethings are worth admiring. 

Y'all like rifles Bob? I've got the nicest ole Winchaster on Ringo that y'all ever did see."
"I do." replied Bob. "I am a Mauser man and...."
"Don't get this guy  started on Mausers." said a happy Grrr.
"We could go to the range later but you were telling how you met this ole reptile?"
replied Bob.
"Yep" said Tex. rolling a cigarette.  "Y'all mind?" asked Tex.
"Nope only guys here." said Bob and Grrr.

"Well now as I recall the phone rang and the big young fella there", pointing to Grrr, "was on the other end."